Rules of World Domination

Don't remember where I found these...

The rules:

Be certain, not right
Claim to be an expert: it makes people’s brains hurt
No expertise, no problem
One simple idea may be one too many
Get prizes for being outrageous
There’s a success hiding in every failure
Don’t remember your failures. No one else will

Ten Prison Survival Tips for Mr. Madoff

Bernie Madoff, the Ponzi King, was convicted and sentenced to 150 yrs in prison today. Here are a few tips I've gleaned to help him survive, since he will more than likely be going someplace ugly.

1. Don't get involved with or become someone's 'Punk".
2. Don't talk about your crime.
3. Do not gamble.
4. Don't collaborate with guards.
5. Do not become indebted to anyone.
6. Do not stare.
7. Use no drugs.
8. Work out.
9. Keep your mouth shut.
10. Be polite and respectful.

Follow these rules, and you may not have such a hard time. Who am I kidding, It's going to be ugly.